To get maximum juice out of lemons microwave the lemons for 15 seconds or soak them in hot water for an hour before juicing.
Monday, February 14, 2011
smile
THE SMILE
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty little girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.
The little girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty little girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.
The little girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."
Quotation
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln
health tip
For whiter teeth, create a mixture of baking soda and salt. The common salt should be very less compared to the baking soda. Rub your teeth with this mixture in a gentle manner and witness instant results. Application on gums could cause damage.
handyhint
To remove ink from clothes generously apply toothpaste on the ink spots and let it dry completely, then wash.
ESSAY FROM A CHILD
A teacher from Primary School asks her students to write a essay about
what they would like God to do for them...
At the end of the day while marking the essays, she read one that made
her very emotional. Her husband, that had just walked in saw her crying
and asked her:
"What happened?"
She answered: "Read this. It's one of my students essays."
Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a
television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house. Have
my own special place, And have my family around ME. To be taken
seriously when I talk... I want to be the centre of attention and be
heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same
special care that the TV receives when it is not working. Have the
company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired.
And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of
ignoring me... And... I want my brothers to fight to be with me... I
want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and
then, just to spend some time with me. And last but not least make it
that I can make them all happy and entertain them...
Lord I don't ask you for much... I just want to live like every TV
At that moment the husband said: "My God, poor kid. What horrible parents!"
She looked up at him and said: "That essay is our son's!!!"
Makes you think doesn't it?????
what they would like God to do for them...
At the end of the day while marking the essays, she read one that made
her very emotional. Her husband, that had just walked in saw her crying
and asked her:
"What happened?"
She answered: "Read this. It's one of my students essays."
Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a
television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house. Have
my own special place, And have my family around ME. To be taken
seriously when I talk... I want to be the centre of attention and be
heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same
special care that the TV receives when it is not working. Have the
company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired.
And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of
ignoring me... And... I want my brothers to fight to be with me... I
want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and
then, just to spend some time with me. And last but not least make it
that I can make them all happy and entertain them...
Lord I don't ask you for much... I just want to live like every TV
At that moment the husband said: "My God, poor kid. What horrible parents!"
She looked up at him and said: "That essay is our son's!!!"
Makes you think doesn't it?????
smile
First year of marriage: Man speaks woman listens.
Second year: Woman speaks man listens.
Third year: Both speak the neighbours listen.
Second year: Woman speaks man listens.
Third year: Both speak the neighbours listen.
THE CHAIN OF LOVE
He was driving home one evening, on a two-lane country road. Work in this small Midwestern community, was almost as slow as his beat-up Pontiac. But he never quit looking. Ever since the factory closed, he'd been unemployed, and with winter raging on, the chill had finally hit home.
It was a lonely road. Not very many people had a reason to be on it unless they were leaving. Most of his friends had already left. They had families to feed and dreams to fulfill. But he stayed on. After all, this was where he buried his mother and father. He was born here, he knew the country. He could go down this road blind, and tell you what was on either side, and with his headlights not working, that came in handy.
It was starting to get dark and light snow flurries were coming down. He'd better get a move on. You know, he almost did not see the old lady, stranded on the side of the road. But even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her. Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe, he looked poor and hungry. He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt.
It was that chill that only fear can put in you. He said, "I am here to help you ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Joe." Well, all she had was a flat tyre, but for an old lady that was bad enough. Joe crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tyre. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt. As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down her window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only passing through. She could not thank him enough for coming to her aid. Joe just smiled as he closed her trunk.
She asked him how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She had already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Joe never thought twice about the money. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Joe added, "And think of me."
He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight. A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The cash register was like the telephone of an out of work actor-it did not ring much.
Her waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day could not erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone like her who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Joe. After the lady finished her meal, and the waitress went to get her change from a hundred-dollar bill, the lady stepped right out the door.
She was gone by the time the waitress came back. She wondered where the lady could be, then she noticed something written on a napkin. There were tears in her eyes, when she read what the lady wrote. It said: "You don't owe me a thing. I have been there too. Someone once helped me out, the way I am helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here's what you do. Do not let the chain of love end with you." Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day.
That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could she have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard. She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered low, "Everything's going to be all right. I love you, Joe."
It was a lonely road. Not very many people had a reason to be on it unless they were leaving. Most of his friends had already left. They had families to feed and dreams to fulfill. But he stayed on. After all, this was where he buried his mother and father. He was born here, he knew the country. He could go down this road blind, and tell you what was on either side, and with his headlights not working, that came in handy.
It was starting to get dark and light snow flurries were coming down. He'd better get a move on. You know, he almost did not see the old lady, stranded on the side of the road. But even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her. Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe, he looked poor and hungry. He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt.
It was that chill that only fear can put in you. He said, "I am here to help you ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Joe." Well, all she had was a flat tyre, but for an old lady that was bad enough. Joe crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tyre. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt. As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down her window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only passing through. She could not thank him enough for coming to her aid. Joe just smiled as he closed her trunk.
She asked him how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She had already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Joe never thought twice about the money. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Joe added, "And think of me."
He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight. A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The cash register was like the telephone of an out of work actor-it did not ring much.
Her waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day could not erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone like her who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Joe. After the lady finished her meal, and the waitress went to get her change from a hundred-dollar bill, the lady stepped right out the door.
She was gone by the time the waitress came back. She wondered where the lady could be, then she noticed something written on a napkin. There were tears in her eyes, when she read what the lady wrote. It said: "You don't owe me a thing. I have been there too. Someone once helped me out, the way I am helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here's what you do. Do not let the chain of love end with you." Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day.
That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could she have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard. She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered low, "Everything's going to be all right. I love you, Joe."
smile
Wife: tum mujse kitna pyaar karte ho?
Husband: itna zyada ho sake, utna.
Wife: mere marne ke baad kya tum taj mahal bana'oge?!
Husband: mene tau plot bhi kharidliya. Der to tum kar tiho!!
Husband: itna zyada ho sake, utna.
Wife: mere marne ke baad kya tum taj mahal bana'oge?!
Husband: mene tau plot bhi kharidliya. Der to tum kar tiho!!
smile
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't
punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand..."
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O
punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand..."
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O
THE DUCK AND THE DEVIL There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved! In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see his sister watching! Fatima had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch the next day Grandma said, 'Fatima, let's wash the dishes.' But Fatima said, 'Grandma, Ahmed told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.' Then she whispered to him, 'Remember the duck?' So Ahmed did the dishes. Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, 'I'm sorry but I need Fatima to help make supper.' Fatima just smiled and said, 'Well, that's all right because Ahmed told me he wanted to help.' She whispered again, 'Remember the duck?' So Fatima went fishing and Ahmed stayed to help. After several days of Ahmed doing both his chores and Fatima's, he finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, 'Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Fatima make a slave of you.' Thought for the day and every day thereafter? Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... and the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.)...whatever it is...You need to know that Allah was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you. The great thing about Allah is that when you ask for forgiveness, He not only forgives you, but He forgets. It is by Allah's grace and mercy that we are saved.
THE DUCK AND THE DEVIL
There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner.
As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved! In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see his sister watching!
Fatima had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch the next day Grandma said, 'Fatima, let's wash the dishes.' But Fatima said, 'Grandma, Ahmed told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.' Then she whispered to him, 'Remember the duck?' So Ahmed did the dishes.
Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, 'I'm sorry but I need Fatima to help make supper.'
Fatima just smiled and said, 'Well, that's all right because Ahmed told me he wanted to help.' She whispered again, 'Remember the duck?' So Fatima went fishing and Ahmed stayed to help.
After several days of Ahmed doing both his chores and Fatima's, he finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, 'Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Fatima make a slave of you.'
Thought for the day and every day thereafter?
Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... and the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.)...whatever it is...You need to know that Allah was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven.
He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.
The great thing about Allah is that when you ask for forgiveness, He not only forgives you, but He forgets. It is by Allah's grace and mercy that we are saved.
There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner.
As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved! In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see his sister watching!
Fatima had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch the next day Grandma said, 'Fatima, let's wash the dishes.' But Fatima said, 'Grandma, Ahmed told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.' Then she whispered to him, 'Remember the duck?' So Ahmed did the dishes.
Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, 'I'm sorry but I need Fatima to help make supper.'
Fatima just smiled and said, 'Well, that's all right because Ahmed told me he wanted to help.' She whispered again, 'Remember the duck?' So Fatima went fishing and Ahmed stayed to help.
After several days of Ahmed doing both his chores and Fatima's, he finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, 'Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Fatima make a slave of you.'
Thought for the day and every day thereafter?
Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... and the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.)...whatever it is...You need to know that Allah was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven.
He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.
The great thing about Allah is that when you ask for forgiveness, He not only forgives you, but He forgets. It is by Allah's grace and mercy that we are saved.
smile
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the Brit's, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York bulletin: "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the British".
One week later, the Cape bulletin, in South Africa, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in Thabazimbi, South Africa, Lucky Simelane, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing (aziko). Lucky has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Africa had already gone wireless."
Just makes you proud to be South African!!!
Not to be outdone by the Brit's, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York bulletin: "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the British".
One week later, the Cape bulletin, in South Africa, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in Thabazimbi, South Africa, Lucky Simelane, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing (aziko). Lucky has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Africa had already gone wireless."
Just makes you proud to be South African!!!
GM vs Microsoft, ( Joke)
General Motors vs. Microsoft
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, 'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'
IN RESPONSE TO BILL'S COMMENTS, GENERAL MOTORS ISSUED A PRESS RELEASE STATING:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all bedriving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash...Twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.
I LOVE THE NEXT ONE!!!
7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.
PS - I 'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, 'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'
IN RESPONSE TO BILL'S COMMENTS, GENERAL MOTORS ISSUED A PRESS RELEASE STATING:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all bedriving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash...Twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.
I LOVE THE NEXT ONE!!!
7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.
PS - I 'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)